Monday, December 15, 2008


It never fails...every year around the holidays I get a horrible head cold complete with hacking cough. It also seems to coincide with my opportunities to sing! It never fails that if I have to sing at any point during the holiday season (especially if it's solo) I am inevitably stricken with the "snotcoffsalotitus" and it lasts through the new year!! This is especially nerve-racking since the ol grey mare ain't what she used to be in the vocal sense of the word (well, or any other sense of the word for that matter). It just makes me a nervous wreck!!! All that to say, yes - I'm stricken and the Chancel Choir's performance of the Messiah is fastly approaching!!! This Sunday to be exact and I am hackin-snortin-sneezin-wheezin up a storm - which isn't conducive to a good nights sleep! I have 2 solos - soooo the hackin is a definite MINUS!!!

I also continue to struggle with my weight. This struggle has been made even more difficult by the depo shot I took in September. Had a known that the side effects were and increase in every single icky thing in the human body that I have tried to pluck, shave, lose, squeeze...well, you get the picture, I totally would have opted for something different! Sheesh, glad it's only a one timer for me...I'd have to commit harey carey (isn't that the saying) if this were to continue just right on. So, any how way, this "shot" has not made my battle with the buldge any easier - not that it was easy to begin with...I'm not incredibly blessed these days with an abundance of will power and any I had...GONE! I do try to tell myself that this to shall pass...literally, it'll pass right through the ol bodily system in 3 to 6 months. Perhaps then, I can get my mind set and hormonal balance in the right place. A very old friend of mine, with whom I have recently become reaquainted, told me that she had been through some really horrible physical ailments in recent years and that it caused her to really appreciate her body...fat or skinny. She says she's done worrying about how her body looks. I could probably do that...with a whole lot of work...but my thing is, I wanna have energy to do stuff - play with my kids, anything - just be a more "fit" person. We watch a Veggie Tales video that deals with temptation - what makes it even more appropriate for our family is...the hero (Larry-Boy) is being tempted by none other than CHOCOLATE! One thing that the asparagus says (holy moly - I'm gaining spiritual insights from veggies...) anyway, he says " you can't be the super hero God intended you to be if you eat too much chocolate!" Basically, if you are constantly giving into your can't be who God intends for you to be. OUCH!!!! So, what I realize is that my weight and giving into my food temptations is keeping me from being who/what God wants! And me, I'm so silly - I just keep letting the boogie man keep me in "the pit of despair - don't even think about trying to escape.." (oh, sorry - just had a "Princess Bride" moment - 'cuse). I want to be outta this pit - I want to be and do all that God wants me to be and do all He has planned for me to do. I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again - my weight is not just a physical issue- it's a spiritual issue and until I "let go and let God" well, you know.

So all of that said - I know how incredibly blessed I am with a wonderful family - beautiful, healthy children, a job, a hubby with a job, a home, food on the table, a warm bed, the love of my sweet family and friends...I mean WOW - how blessed I am - so this Christmas I'm going to try to focus on how blessed I am and how much God has done and try not to focus on my human flaws and the weakness of my flesh or how big that flesh is =0). I will focus on the awesome gift of God's love through His Son, Jesus who came that we may have life and have it more abundantly.

Merry Christmas friends!!!