Over the weekend, SB and her Daddy went to their first Father/Daughter Dance. They had a wonderful time together...dinner and dancing and a very precious moment on the dance floor. The DJ played the song "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman as a slow dance. While she danced with her daddy, SB began to cry. My husband asked her why she was crying and she said, "I love you, Daddy. Thank you for bringing me to the dance. It's special to me." Oh, did I mention you might need a kleenex - sorry. She is so sweet and able to express her emotions and how she feels about the people she cares about in a way that I still am unable to accomplish. I look at the young lady she is becoming and I'm sooooo full of pride but at the same time so very sad that my "little girl" is changing into a "little lady" followed all to quickly by the "young woman". All to soon, she's gone from being this little "peanut" to this wonderful, talented, beautiful 8 year old and I find myself being a little sad that the "season" is changing. I pray that she has wonderful memories and that she'll remember them when she is a teen and hating me because I won't let her ride in a car with a bunch of her friends or let her stay out past 10:00 p.m. I hope that she'll still want me to lay with her at night - recapping the day's events of just snuggling up together. Oh, "if I could save time in a bottle..."
I love you sweet daughter of mine!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Monday, December 15, 2008
It's the MOST WUNNERFUL TIME ...
It never fails...every year around the holidays I get a horrible head cold complete with hacking cough. It also seems to coincide with my opportunities to sing! It never fails that if I have to sing at any point during the holiday season (especially if it's solo) I am inevitably stricken with the "snotcoffsalotitus" and it lasts through the new year!! This is especially nerve-racking since the ol grey mare ain't what she used to be in the vocal sense of the word (well, or any other sense of the word for that matter). It just makes me a nervous wreck!!! All that to say, yes - I'm stricken and the Chancel Choir's performance of the Messiah is fastly approaching!!! This Sunday to be exact and I am hackin-snortin-sneezin-wheezin up a storm - which isn't conducive to a good nights sleep! I have 2 solos - soooo the hackin is a definite MINUS!!!
I also continue to struggle with my weight. This struggle has been made even more difficult by the depo shot I took in September. Had a known that the side effects were and increase in every single icky thing in the human body that I have tried to pluck, shave, lose, squeeze...well, you get the picture, I totally would have opted for something different! Sheesh, glad it's only a one timer for me...I'd have to commit harey carey (isn't that the saying) if this were to continue just right on. So, any how way, this "shot" has not made my battle with the buldge any easier - not that it was easy to begin with...I'm not incredibly blessed these days with an abundance of will power and any I had...GONE! I do try to tell myself that this to shall pass...literally, it'll pass right through the ol bodily system in 3 to 6 months. Perhaps then, I can get my mind set and hormonal balance in the right place. A very old friend of mine, with whom I have recently become reaquainted, told me that she had been through some really horrible physical ailments in recent years and that it caused her to really appreciate her body...fat or skinny. She says she's done worrying about how her body looks. I could probably do that...with a whole lot of work...but my thing is, I wanna have energy to do stuff - play with my kids, exercise...do anything - just be a more "fit" person. We watch a Veggie Tales video that deals with temptation - what makes it even more appropriate for our family is...the hero (Larry-Boy) is being tempted by none other than CHOCOLATE! One thing that the asparagus says (holy moly - I'm gaining spiritual insights from veggies...) anyway, he says " you can't be the super hero God intended you to be if you eat too much chocolate!" Basically, if you are constantly giving into your flesh...you can't be who God intends for you to be. OUCH!!!! So, what I realize is that my weight and giving into my food temptations is keeping me from being who/what God wants! And me, I'm so silly - I just keep letting the boogie man keep me in "the pit of despair - don't even think about trying to escape.." (oh, sorry - just had a "Princess Bride" moment - 'cuse). I want to be outta this pit - I want to be and do all that God wants me to be and do all He has planned for me to do. I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again - my weight is not just a physical issue- it's a spiritual issue and until I "let go and let God" well, you know.
So all of that said - I know how incredibly blessed I am with a wonderful family - beautiful, healthy children, a job, a hubby with a job, a home, food on the table, a warm bed, the love of my sweet family and friends...I mean WOW - how blessed I am - so this Christmas I'm going to try to focus on how blessed I am and how much God has done and try not to focus on my human flaws and the weakness of my flesh or how big that flesh is =0). I will focus on the awesome gift of God's love through His Son, Jesus who came that we may have life and have it more abundantly.
Merry Christmas friends!!!
I also continue to struggle with my weight. This struggle has been made even more difficult by the depo shot I took in September. Had a known that the side effects were and increase in every single icky thing in the human body that I have tried to pluck, shave, lose, squeeze...well, you get the picture, I totally would have opted for something different! Sheesh, glad it's only a one timer for me...I'd have to commit harey carey (isn't that the saying) if this were to continue just right on. So, any how way, this "shot" has not made my battle with the buldge any easier - not that it was easy to begin with...I'm not incredibly blessed these days with an abundance of will power and any I had...GONE! I do try to tell myself that this to shall pass...literally, it'll pass right through the ol bodily system in 3 to 6 months. Perhaps then, I can get my mind set and hormonal balance in the right place. A very old friend of mine, with whom I have recently become reaquainted, told me that she had been through some really horrible physical ailments in recent years and that it caused her to really appreciate her body...fat or skinny. She says she's done worrying about how her body looks. I could probably do that...with a whole lot of work...but my thing is, I wanna have energy to do stuff - play with my kids, exercise...do anything - just be a more "fit" person. We watch a Veggie Tales video that deals with temptation - what makes it even more appropriate for our family is...the hero (Larry-Boy) is being tempted by none other than CHOCOLATE! One thing that the asparagus says (holy moly - I'm gaining spiritual insights from veggies...) anyway, he says " you can't be the super hero God intended you to be if you eat too much chocolate!" Basically, if you are constantly giving into your flesh...you can't be who God intends for you to be. OUCH!!!! So, what I realize is that my weight and giving into my food temptations is keeping me from being who/what God wants! And me, I'm so silly - I just keep letting the boogie man keep me in "the pit of despair - don't even think about trying to escape.." (oh, sorry - just had a "Princess Bride" moment - 'cuse). I want to be outta this pit - I want to be and do all that God wants me to be and do all He has planned for me to do. I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again - my weight is not just a physical issue- it's a spiritual issue and until I "let go and let God" well, you know.
So all of that said - I know how incredibly blessed I am with a wonderful family - beautiful, healthy children, a job, a hubby with a job, a home, food on the table, a warm bed, the love of my sweet family and friends...I mean WOW - how blessed I am - so this Christmas I'm going to try to focus on how blessed I am and how much God has done and try not to focus on my human flaws and the weakness of my flesh or how big that flesh is =0). I will focus on the awesome gift of God's love through His Son, Jesus who came that we may have life and have it more abundantly.
Merry Christmas friends!!!
Monday, November 10, 2008
"Ghost Whisperer" gone wrong!
Oh - muh - gahshhhhhhhhhhh I cannot believe that "Jim" - "Melinda" sweet hubby got "killed off" on "Ghost Whisperer"!!! Whassup wit dat? Now the whole dynamic of the show is going to change...with Jay Mohr gone and now David Conrad...aghhhhhh - what's going on...and just when they were trying to make a little "ghost whisperer/paramedic" -
Of course they can always pull a Dallas "Pam dreams a whole season" and make him not really dead...oooo, or better yet - let him father their child from "the beyond" (insert creepy music sounds here).
Oh well, I guess we'll have to see if he crosses over into the light or remains earth-bound to be near "Melinda" - can't wait til this Friday!!!!
Of course they can always pull a Dallas "Pam dreams a whole season" and make him not really dead...oooo, or better yet - let him father their child from "the beyond" (insert creepy music sounds here).
Oh well, I guess we'll have to see if he crosses over into the light or remains earth-bound to be near "Melinda" - can't wait til this Friday!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Seriously now...
Well, I figured I'd take this non-hormonal moment to blog. Lots going on these days...eldest is playing in 3 softball tourneys in November - one is for a travel team! Yes, you read that correctly. Of course when I played, all the teams were travel teams but anyhow...she was asked to play and this is only her third season playing. She plays with alot of heart and she loves the game so it's a joy to watch her. Although, I do get quite nervous for her cuz she is extremely "success oriented" and gets upset when she doesn't succeed the way "SHE" thinks she should. The youngest is being "promoted" to PreK next week! OMgoodness...when did that happen? He's very excited because now he'll be reunited with his "girlfriend" B. He says he has another one but he can't recall her name...typical man =0) He's sooooo funny - and everyone says they can't wait until he's a teenager...all are proclaiming that I'm deserving of all that is going to come my way. I have NO clue what they would be talking about...(my mother says, "yeah right" with a smile). It's a super fun time right now...I still get to enjoy little ones for a little longer anyway. I still consider SB to be a "little one" - of course she'll always be my baby - that little teeny tiny peanut we brought home on Easter Sunday 8 years ago (well closer to 8.5 now)...WOW!
I'm singing in the Messiah this year. Sang it last in 2003 and didn't really have the chops to do all that was asked of me. This time around, perhaps the chops will serve me much better. I'm feeling really good about my vocal progress and my vocal coach is AWESOME (even if she is a democrat - love ya E=0) So, I'm anxious to sing my Messiah stuff at my lesson on Sunday - hope to be pleasantly surprised.
I can't believe there are only 55 days until Christmas! What? Get outta here - NOT READY!!! I'm determined to get-r-dun earlier than normal if I can get the hubby to come along on that ride with me =0) We follow the "3 Wisemen Rule". Santa only brings 3 gifts plus the stocking. Anyway, guess I'll try and get started on my decorating in the next week or two since all of our November weekends will be spent at the ball field. Wow, makes me really appreciate all that time my parents spent toting me from park to park and all that "bleacher time"
Well, I'm still no slimmer but less bitter today. I'm just gonna be happy to BE and enjoy life and try to be more healthful. Of course, this is not to say that there won't be days when I wanna sling that stupid scale through the dang-ol window! But, I'm just gonna be who I am in the moment and try not to wreck my kids just because I'm not entirely pleases with my "vessel". I do know fer sure that it is a spiritual battle for me on several levels and at some point I'll be ready to put on my big girl pants and get busy.
I'll post "Hallerweenie" pics after the candy fest is over. I think we're gonna T-n-T with the cousins this year.
Until next time...
I'm singing in the Messiah this year. Sang it last in 2003 and didn't really have the chops to do all that was asked of me. This time around, perhaps the chops will serve me much better. I'm feeling really good about my vocal progress and my vocal coach is AWESOME (even if she is a democrat - love ya E=0) So, I'm anxious to sing my Messiah stuff at my lesson on Sunday - hope to be pleasantly surprised.
I can't believe there are only 55 days until Christmas! What? Get outta here - NOT READY!!! I'm determined to get-r-dun earlier than normal if I can get the hubby to come along on that ride with me =0) We follow the "3 Wisemen Rule". Santa only brings 3 gifts plus the stocking. Anyway, guess I'll try and get started on my decorating in the next week or two since all of our November weekends will be spent at the ball field. Wow, makes me really appreciate all that time my parents spent toting me from park to park and all that "bleacher time"
Well, I'm still no slimmer but less bitter today. I'm just gonna be happy to BE and enjoy life and try to be more healthful. Of course, this is not to say that there won't be days when I wanna sling that stupid scale through the dang-ol window! But, I'm just gonna be who I am in the moment and try not to wreck my kids just because I'm not entirely pleases with my "vessel". I do know fer sure that it is a spiritual battle for me on several levels and at some point I'll be ready to put on my big girl pants and get busy.
I'll post "Hallerweenie" pics after the candy fest is over. I think we're gonna T-n-T with the cousins this year.
Until next time...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Horror-Mones for Halloween...
Well, I have to say that my frame of mind has greatly improved...I think perhaps due to the fact that I'm a month into the "shot" and perhaps my body is finally adjusting somewhat...phew! It may also be due in part to me biting the bullet and weighing only to discover that I haven't gained ...I haven't lost but I haven't gained so that helped my feelings...weird as that is. Soooo any how ways, I'm much less of the witch variety...not fully recovered but on the road to redemption so to speak =0).
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
She's sooo skinny - you know she MUST be unhappy..
YEAH RIGHT!!! Whoever said that...was STUPID!!! So, I'm in one of the foulest (and let me add ongoing) moods I've been in for QUITE some time. I'm not sure if it's the depo-provera or just the mere FATNESS of it all but I'm royally hacked!!! And never fear...it's not just limited to skinny people...I'm hacked at skinny people and those who are getting skinnier and those who are talking about getting skinny!!! I enjoy "spreading the wealth" as it were.
I'm soooo glad that everyone in the entire universe (me EXcluded) is able to lose weight! YAY for y'all...okay all us fat folks are just flippin THRILLED for ya...now be quiet about it already! Or better yet...just give me all your fat clothes...I need some new clothes.
Hey, but I'm not bitter...not AT ALL!
On a lighter note...I did find some fabulous makeup that has all but erradicated the "swarthy-ness" of it all. Origins is my new favorite thing!!!
I'm soooo glad that everyone in the entire universe (me EXcluded) is able to lose weight! YAY for y'all...okay all us fat folks are just flippin THRILLED for ya...now be quiet about it already! Or better yet...just give me all your fat clothes...I need some new clothes.
Hey, but I'm not bitter...not AT ALL!
On a lighter note...I did find some fabulous makeup that has all but erradicated the "swarthy-ness" of it all. Origins is my new favorite thing!!!
Friday, September 12, 2008
It is what it is...awwww, crap!
Well here I sit listening to the clickety click of the keyboards as my fifth graders work on their keyboarding skills. My goal is to have all 5 graders proficient in keyboarding...rather lofty goal you say...oh well, just wait - I have more "goals"-
I would love to say that the 10 lbs I lost over the summer has been accompanied by more lbs moving away...but alas, it's not a fact. I have gained those 10 and now I'm working on more. I'm completely frustrated and completely fat! And on top of that...suddenly my skin has decided that it is going to be all "swarthy" and "Mediterranean" like it was in my youth. So any make up I put on runs down to my chin by the time I get to work. I look like a dadgum raccoon because even the waterproof mascara runs on me...can you believe it!!! Soooo, not happy about this particular physical sitch!
On the greener side of the fence...my voice lessons are really going well. I'm slooowly regaining my range (and if I'd take care of said fat issue my breath control and stamina would greatly improve ...ahhh, but I digress). Elise is workin' my buttocks off but it is soooo paying off. I'm almost excited to go to my voice lessons now. I really wish I had a piano...it would make practicing soooooo much easier. Right now, I'm using a pitch pipe (and not a very good one at that - you have to hold yer mouth jes right or it won't sound) okay, so anyway....HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY about this sitch!
Soooo, all the people around me are either skinny or getting skinny!!! HATE IT FOR ME! It's great for them...but not so much for me...makes me all jealous, which makes me depressed, which makes me eat chocolate, which makes me depressed, which makes me eat chocolate...you can already tell this ends badly.
Oh, did I mention that my face is all "zit ridden" like I'm a teenager...which obviously based on the "heat wave" I frequently experience I am not. I mean, let's just add insult to injury...I'm fat, swarthy AND zitty! OMG!!!!
I would love to say that the 10 lbs I lost over the summer has been accompanied by more lbs moving away...but alas, it's not a fact. I have gained those 10 and now I'm working on more. I'm completely frustrated and completely fat! And on top of that...suddenly my skin has decided that it is going to be all "swarthy" and "Mediterranean" like it was in my youth. So any make up I put on runs down to my chin by the time I get to work. I look like a dadgum raccoon because even the waterproof mascara runs on me...can you believe it!!! Soooo, not happy about this particular physical sitch!
On the greener side of the fence...my voice lessons are really going well. I'm slooowly regaining my range (and if I'd take care of said fat issue my breath control and stamina would greatly improve ...ahhh, but I digress). Elise is workin' my buttocks off but it is soooo paying off. I'm almost excited to go to my voice lessons now. I really wish I had a piano...it would make practicing soooooo much easier. Right now, I'm using a pitch pipe (and not a very good one at that - you have to hold yer mouth jes right or it won't sound) okay, so anyway....HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY about this sitch!
Soooo, all the people around me are either skinny or getting skinny!!! HATE IT FOR ME! It's great for them...but not so much for me...makes me all jealous, which makes me depressed, which makes me eat chocolate, which makes me depressed, which makes me eat chocolate...you can already tell this ends badly.
Oh, did I mention that my face is all "zit ridden" like I'm a teenager...which obviously based on the "heat wave" I frequently experience I am not. I mean, let's just add insult to injury...I'm fat, swarthy AND zitty! OMG!!!!
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