Whirlwind Weekend or TMI...

Wow! What a weekend! We "married off" a dear longtime family friend in south GA (Sara Beth was a flower girl) on Saturday night AND THENNNNNNN we hauled it back up to "the city" for the children's musical on Sunday evening. It was my swan song as the Carol Choir director and Sara Beth had a solo! She was AWESOME (if I do say so myself). Soooo, my 7 year old had a "glamorous" weekend. She EVEN got a "french manicure" - she thought she was "hot stuff" and of course...she totally was!

At the reception, my children provided entertainment as dancers! When I get the pictures I'll post them. They both had their boogie shoes on - it was quite a sight to see! I got to looking for Sara Beth and couldn't find her anywhere on the dance floor - when I noticed this HUGE circle of dancing adults - ya know the "putcha in the middle so you can show yer stuff" Soul Train dancing circle...guess who's in the middle...SARA BETH!!! Those adults were hootin and hollerin and cheerin her on. She was eating it up...and Garrett found a stage - climbed up and did a little solo action. They both danced the ENTIRE time we were there from 6:30 until 10:00! Garrett was "bustin a move" BIG TIME. At one point, he had a cap on backwards (his dad's "trophy" from the wedding golf tourney) pretending to hold a mic in one hand while inciting the crowd to "raise the roof" with the other hand! One of our good friends (Uncle of the bride) said, "I didn't know the preacher was raisin' exotic dancers" (for those who may not know...I'm a PK - my dad is a preacher - does that explain "ME" a little better=0D

Anyway, I was asked to inflict my voice on those attending the wedding - I wouldn't have done it but I've known the bride all of her life - I was there when she born so when she asked.... I couldn't tell her NO. Well, actually I tried to tell her NO but she wouldn't hear it. I'm glad I did it for her. My dad performed the ceremony - he also performed the bride's parents' ceremony back in 1971 (as well as all of the bride's aunts and uncles weddings - on her mom's side. We're ALL originally from the Holy Land...oh, ummmm I mean, Tennessee and my Dad was their pastor "back in the day") It's pretty cool though, cuz my dad was one of the first folks to see Candy (the bride) other than her daddy just after her birth and now he was able to be the officiating minister. I told you it was pretty cool.

Soooooo, just prepare yourselves for pictures from the wedding and video from the musical...I'm just sayin!

A Meme (rhymes with dream)

1. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment letting them know they’ve been tagged and to ask them to play along and to read your blog.

What I was doing 10 years ago - 1998
* Finishing up my ummmm NINTH year of college
* Still being a newlywed
* Learning to share a bathroom with A BOY
* Getting ready to do my student teaching FINALLY
*

Five things on my to-do list today -
1. Find someone to "Bella-sit" (she's our dog)
2. Pack the van
3. Pick up my husband in McDonough at the CCC
4. Fill up the tank in my van (this should actually happen BEFORE I drive to McDonough)
5. Drive to Hinesville, GA for a friend's wedding

Five snacks I enjoy -
1. popcorn (lots of fattening butter)
2. chocolate
3. honey roasted peanuts
4. chocolate
5. gramham crackers
6. Chocolate
*Oh, did it say 5 ...oops. Ya know, it really depends on my mood and the time of the month =0D

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire -
1. Pay them dang bills off
2. Pay my family’s bills off
3. Pay the church’s bills off
4. Pay y’all’s bills off (bills are so unfair)
5. Travel my hiney off
6. Buy a house with a BASEMENT!!!! Oops, again with the 5!

Five of my bad habits -
1. eating chocolate
2. gaining weight - see #1
3. being critical
4. Leaving the world in my van (including my purse - much to my hubby's chagrin
5. Hmmmmmm, I know there are more...just can't think

Five places I have lived -
1. LaFollette, TN (Northeast of Knoxville)
2. Lexington, KY
3. Cleveland, TN
4. Orlando, Fl
5. Hinesville, GA

Five jobs I’ve had - (only 5? =0D)
1. grocery store cashier - loved it- got to see EVERYBODY(high school/college)
2. Entertainer at EPCOT Center, Walt Disney World, Inc
3. Pre K Assistant
4. Director of Youth and Children (I know...can you believe it)
5. Elementary school teacher...just to name a few

I tag…
Welllllll, nobody - cuz Fiddle*Sticks dun tagged em all! HUMPH!

Second Grade Conversations

My daughter's second grade teacher reported the following dialog with my child:
*some names have been altered to "respect" the innocent =0)

SB: "Ms. Melton, did you that Randy has already quit his flag football team?"

Ms. Melton: "Well, no honey, I didn't know that."

SB: "He quit because the coach wouldn't let him play all the plays he wanted to. But he shouldn't quit - hasn't he ever heard of perseverance?"

Ms. Melton: "Uhhhhhmmmmm, well I guess he doesn't. Let's talk about it later though, okay?" (big smile)

Her teacher was like...how do you argue with that? Ms. Melton was quite impressed with the "big word" usage and knowing the meaning! KUH-CHOW!!!!!
I love it, love it, love it!!! She gets it and she keeps us ALL on the straight and narrow!!!

Spring? Really?

Whassup wid dis COLD? I mean, I like a nice snowfall just like the next guy but c'mon...it's MARCH ALREADY!
Course it doesn't matter to the kids at my school...Easter has come and gone and by golly, I'm gonna wear them thar white sandals...don't care if my toes are BLUE - I'm wearin' em! And shorts, yep - wearin' em - who cares if the little hairs on their k-5 legs have broken off at the root due to the FREEZING cold! Seriously, do their parents SEE them before they walk out the door...I'm just sayin'....

Things that make you say hmmmmm... revisited

When you use a highligther...is the passage "highlighted" or "highlit"?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

Amazing Love

"The Lecture"

So, the kids are riding with Sebe to SB's softball practice Tuesday night and he overhears the following:

SB: Garrett, if somebody you don't know offers you candy do not take it. Run away and find me if Mom and Dad aren't around. I'll take you to them.

G: (listening intently and nodding in the affirmative)

SB: I mean it. Don't you take candy from anybody unless you ask Mom and Dad or come and find me so I can take you to them.

*The "lecture" as it were, goes on like this for several minutes with Garrett continuing to listen intently all the while nodding "YES"
This is how that conversation ended...

SB: Garrett, seriously, I mean it. If you don't believe me ask Mom. She has MORE THAN 40 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!"

I love that she is listening to the things we are telling her and that she wants to pass that information along to little brother but isn't that kinda like saying "You don't sweat much for a fat girl." Hmmmm, have to get back to ya on that one =0D

Let me say it again...I HATE TO DIET!!!!

ARRRRRGH! I hate being so dang "fleshy"! I mean seriously, why is it always soooooo stinkin' EASY to gain weight and soooooo stinkin hard to lose it. I think the putting on and taking off process should be equally simple! If you eat 1 Krispy Kreme donut everyday which caused you to gain 10 lbs, then I think if you stop eating said donuts...you should lose that pesky 10 lbs without having to listen to Leslie Sansone telling you to "pick it up, left, right" while intermittenly attempting to add humor (Honey, don't give up yer day job)! I think that for every 16oz of stank ol plain tasteless water one drinks in a day...you should lose that much weight times 2 in the same day(I mean there should be significant reward for giving up fizz and taste). And why is it that we, as women lose weight slower than men?! I can "Walk Away the Pounds" till I'm blue in the face....poot myself into oblivion while attempting to do pilates....ride my bike (ya get my drift) and my husband mows the lawn on Saturday and drops a pant size! Whasssup wid dat? humph!

Archie-isms

My kids are notorious for what we like to call at our house "Archie-ism". Ya know, how ol Archie Bunker would get reeeeally close to the right word but just off enough to be funny...yea...now ya see where I'm goin'...Well, these "Archie-isms" always make my husband and me chuckle out loud (of course they are OUR kids so we think that they are THE brightest, funniest, most wonderful....okay, I'll get ahold of myself- sorry)...

Sooooo, moving right along....I'm never near pencil/paper and I'm not all fancied up with all the cool techno gizmos that could record/write or otherwise save for posterity these wonderful little "isms" so I'm going to record them here as they come to me:0D


"Mommy, my tummy is grouchin'" (Garrett)
"Holy Mat-Girl" instead of "Holy Mackerel" (Sara Beth)
"Dad, can we go somewhere more expensidiv to eat?" (Sara Beth)
"Mom, did you see that velcro?" (Sara Beth - she meant VULTURE)
"You're crackin me nuts" (Sara Beth)
"You crack me off" (Garrett)
"quarter potty"(aka porta-potty)." (Sara Beth)
"you're bein mean at me" (Garrett)

Obviously, there will be more....=0)

What's the meaning of this?

For those who might be wondering why I chose this title for my blog or aren't familiar with musical vocab....mezzo forte is just a fancy, schmancy way of saying "medium loud" which I guess IS rather humorous if you know me at all (Thank ya Whit=0D. I chose mezzo because my voice classification is mezzo soprano - which means - can't sing the super-dee-duper high notes but I can sing high notes - or will be able to again soon thanks to Elise, my voice teacher! YAY!! So it is mezzo forte...not because I'm particularly a "medium" in the size or sound category but definitely not in an "I see dead people" medium kinda way. (read your mind Whitney) I haven't been a medium in size or sound since I was about...ummmmmmm 6 months old!

Blessed to be a Mommy

Before I was a Mom…
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a
lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were
poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could
do tests,
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby
sleep.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't
want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when
I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my
life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside
my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a
hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child
could be so strong.
I didn't know that something so small could make me
feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the
heartache, the wonderment, or the
satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before
I was a Mom.

How blessed I am to be a mom - Thank you Heavenly Father for giving me two most beautiful, precious gifts in Sara Beth and Garrett!

Happy Meals....WHY?!

Happy Meals DO NOT make ME happy! Why? Those crappy toys!! They work for 10 seconds or you can't EEEEVEN get the flippin' thing to work or they never STOP working (even after being baptized by emersion) - and of course your kids want you to open this toy as soon as the infamous happy meal box touches your fingers. So you take out said "toy" and it is wrapped in stinkin industrial strength plastic - requiring hedge clippers or a hack saw to open. Piranah couldn't tear open this plastic. I think they should make prison cells outta this stuff - no one could EVER escape! So then, where does this "priceless gem" end up? On the floor in my van OR as yet another "tub toy" (like I need one more thing to stumble over in the morning or to inadvertently impale or otherwise inflict injury upon my "pre-caffienated" self). Our playroom is full of these lovely little items - and when you try and sneak one to the poly-cart there are tears and lamenting...."I've been looking for that for a long time!" Oh puh-leeeease! There are 15 thing-a-muh-jiggers just like this in the van - under the seat, in "the way back" as Garrett says (a.k.a the bench seat in the back of the van) and in the luggage/grocery/softball bag storage compart-tah-mentay. One of these days - I'm gonna take that stinkin toy outta that box and throw right back through the pick up window!

Sendin' out a "THANK YOU" holla to Captain D's for no toys just food! Love ya!

Things that make you say "Hmmmmmmmm"

Well, I wrote the stinkin title last night but didn't have time to finish and GUESS WHAT? Now I'M sayin "hmmmmmmmmm" cuz I can't remember what I was gonna say! SNAP! I do remember that is was quite humorous - DANG IT! I also remember thinking "what a great item for the ol "BLAWG"! Fartifinkle! Argh, I can't tell you how flippity floppin frustratin' this is...SERIOUSLY! Perhaps at some point during the day I will sit on the little invisible "button thingie" ON your tushy (I changed that just for my fiddlin' friend=0) that Bill Cosby talks about - you know, the one that makes you remember what you walked all the way upstairs for AFTER you come back downstairs and sit down on the couch. Man, it stinks to be OLD!!!

Anybody know a good, reliable cleaning service/person? My house is a HOT MESS! My kids have to be able to see every stinkin toy or belonging that they own, therefore it is ALL over the floor of the playroom, family room, their rooms.....ACK!!! Goin a little postal over it all! I have got to be the mean "clean this mess up now" fairy tonight! I hate it but holy moly - if Niecy Nash knocks on my door....I'll die!

Sweet Songs

Okay, so we're riding in the car yesterday and Sara Beth is listening to the CD of the children's musical-which by the way is coming up at the end of the month. Garrett is listening and singing along - happy as a clam then all of the sudden...sniffles...what happened? I look in my mirror and Garrett is all teary-eyed but not saying a word. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "this song makes me sad." I listened to what was playing and it was the song "When others see a sheperd boy, God may see a king..." It's a ballad and quite beautiful. I said, "no, it's not sad. It's pretty." He said, "no, it makes me sad and cry." So sweet, the song, touches his little heart but he doesn't know that's what is happening. He starts to cry every single time that song comes on. Just thought is was interesting....children really are the closest things to angels on earth.

Stouffer's Meatloaf

Okay what does it say about Mama's abilities in the kitchen when your first born says to you..."Mom, the more I have that meatloaf the less I like it." First, let me back up and tell you WHY we're eating meatloaf of the Stouffer variety. My family is very difficult to cook for...or at least I think so. Anyway, my kids are especially picky...certain foods with certain textures...uh, uh, nope ain't gonna eat it. My oldest is especially "texture tender" (I just made that up... just now, betcha couldn't tell - but I digress). Anyway, I try EVERYTHING under the sun to get them to eat (and to make myself feel like I'm lovingly preparing a "home-cooked" meal....here's where Stouffer's steps in. I thought MaMa Stouffer had finally made something that my crew would eat and enjoy and they did...for a while. Earlier this week, I said to my daughter (with an "I know you're gonna like this dinner" grin)..."I'm fixing meatloaf tonight...STOUFFER'S MEATLOAF." To which my very loving and extremely compassionate (which does NOT come from her mother=0) daughter replies, "Mom the more I have that meatloaf the less I like it." My heart was pounding and my palms were beginning to sweat! Are you kidding me?! I finally found something that I - what - doesn't like the meatloaf - ARGH. After my "befuddlement" subsided I said, "What? I thought you loved Stouffer's meatloaf?" To which she diplomatically replied...."Well the last time we had it, it was just a hair below excellent." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHICH brings me back to my original question...ummmm, what was my question? Oh yea, my culinary abilities otherwise known as the ability to screw up packaged dinners. Ahhh, the agony of defeat!!!! *s*

Jumpin on the bandwagon!

Well - if EVERYONE else jumped off a bridge, I reckon I would too. Thus, I will BLOG! Can't imagine I'd have anything to say worth reading, but perhaps someday my kids will get a kick outta reading how dopey their momma was/is! I guess I can force y'all to come along on my journey to rediscover the lost singer within...she's been struggling now for about 8 years but is finally re-emerging thanks to a great vocal coach named Elise..."HOLLA"!

Soooo, anyone who knows me, knows I can't go for very long without telling a "kid story"...
Well, I shant disappoint..

The other day my son "made a stinky" as we like to call it at our house. So to speed up the clean up, I decided to use a wet wipe - to which my son loudly protested while bent over my leg practically standing on his head..."don't wipe me with a wet wipe - I don't need a wet wipe" to which I replied "yes, you do" to which HE replied, "It makes me dizzy!" "What does?" I inquired. His response..."The wet wipe!"
So just in case you ever wondered...wiping the ol' tushy with a wet wipe may cause dizziness...so you shouldn't operate a fork lift or any other heavy machinery while using them. Of course, if you're operating heavy machinery in this particular situation....you're probably headed "downtown" and I don't mean in the fun, gotta buy some sassy new shoes, kinda way!


Welp, gotta start somewhere - guess this was as good a place as any.